but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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