I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
