Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
