Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
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I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
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I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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