Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
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do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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