I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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