Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
