I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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