I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
