i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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