Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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