just tell him i said nine months
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
