he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
