You just made me feel so damn special
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize