Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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