I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
