I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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