yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
