She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
