I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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