i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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