I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
