dude i'm inner monologue high
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
