I can't breathe out the right side of my face
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
