i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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