I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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