My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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