you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think my moral compass just broke
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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