I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
