Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
