I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
from now on my penis is your penis
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
