What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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