what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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