My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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