Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
