life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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