Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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