Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
