shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
