Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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