i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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