we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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