as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
well you can't waste a boner
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
