; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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