I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
