So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She bit a glass in half.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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