Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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