She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
