Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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