"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
