where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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