we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
