I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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