After last night, I could never be a politician.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
