We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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