I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
