Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
