after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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