I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
