Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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