A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
