just tell him i said nine months
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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