you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
