if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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