what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
