I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
