you guys were way drunker than both of me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
