I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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