sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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