Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
did you just send me my own nude
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
